"We have photos!" Dispatch makes the much anticipated announcement to SM over the phone, on one fine December evening. "Of Seulgi & BTS Jimin"
"They are dating! For two years!" Dispatch exclaims in hushed tones. Around him, his team makes excited sounds. They've worked hard, to deliver this wonderful news to his hands.
A brief pause follows his excited announcement on SM's side.
"Okay." SM replies, his tone monotonous.
"O-okay?" Dispatch stutters. He looks around at his team in confusion! Had SM heard him right? He just said okay!
"Yup.Okay." SM replies. "Thanks for letting me know. I'll congratulate them."
Congratula-WHAT? Dispatch shakes his head vigorously. A sliver of irritation starts somewhere in his belly and spreads rapidly through his whole body right down to his toes.
Dispatch takes a deep breath to calm himself down.
"You know it's me, right?" Dispatch asks in a low tone, breathing rhythmically to keep his temper at bay. He is DISPATCH, the Hades of Kpop. Imagine thinking he comes bearing happy news!
On the other end of the line SM rolls his eyes. As if any other media outlet would waste their resources to find out who's sticking it in who.
"I'm gonna leak em. " Dispatch announces in a no-nonsense tone. "I'll oust em as the January first couple."
"Okay." SM says evenly, sounding impatient. Wasn't that obvious by now?
Dispatch nearly drops the phone. Geez. Would it kill this man to show a lil bit of shock at least.
He rubs his brow wearily. It's safe to assume there would be no desperate pleas or intense negotiations on SM's part like he had intended. Let him try one last time.
"They will shred her to pieces! " Dispatch states plainly. "That horde of incessantly obsessive psychotic witches they call their fans!" He says. "They will tear her from limb to limb!"
"We can use a bit of promotion right now, with Irene breaking her hip we couldn't promote-
Dispatch hangs up. He knows a lost cause when he sees one.
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"We got photos!" Dispatch announces to Bang PD over the phone, his excitement a lil tainted by his previous endeavour with SM. "Of your boi Jimin & Seulgi from Red Velvet. "
"They've been dating for two years now!" Dispatch announces excitedly as his team looks at him with anticipation. They are eager to see the fruits of their hard labor.
A brief pause follows on the other side of the phone as Bang PD nim processes the news. Dispatch looks around at his team with a victorious glow in his eyes. This, will not fail.
"We have a lot of exclusive BTS Christmas content planned-" Bang PD nim starts.
"You know what, I was just checking to see if you are doing okay. " Dispatch replies hurrriedly. "Accept my early Christmas greetings. Have a good day! "
Dispatch hangs up the phone.
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"We got photos" Dispatch announces to JYP over the phone. He looks nervous after the two previous failed attempts. "Of Sana & EXO Suho. "
"They've been dating for a year now. " Dispatch announces nervously. His team watches him with grave faces, their celebrations having come to an abrupt halt. This cannot fail. A deal has to be made.
"We'll oust em as the January first couple unless some negotiations are made-" Dispatch continues.
On the other end of the line, JYP inflates like a hot air balloon, his face taking on an angry red. This bastard, how dare he!
"FINE. GO AHEAD OUST EM. YOU OUST EM ALL MY GIRLS AND THE FELLAS THEY'RE SCREWING AND YOU FINALLY OUST ME TOO YOU CONNIVING THIRSTY BLOODSUCKER! " JYP screams angrily in to the phone & hangs up.
Dispatch holds the phone at a distance so as to preserve his eardrums! What a temperamental man! How on earth is he a CEO?
Well, there goes his negotiations. He sighs & starts dialing again.
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"We got photos." Dispatch announces for the fourth time that evening. He feels drained, as if he had run 40 laps. But, he gotta pick himself up. Bucks have to be made, there are mouths to be fed. "Of Jisoo & Cha Eun Woo." He finishes wearily.
"They been dating for a year!" Dispatch announces while rubbing his temples. His team stares at him expectantly. This better work or else somebody will not be receiving a pay check for the next month.
On the other side of the line, YG let's out a sigh of extreme relief. Thank god, it's not Jennie!
"Why you telling me this?" He asks Dispatch. He sounds confused. Does Dispatch think he cares?
"Cus we gonna oust em." Dispatch says matter of factly. A headache is subtley working it's way from the temporal region to the frontal. "They'll be our January first couple! "
YG pauses for a brief second. "Why you telling me this?" He asks again, scrunching his nose & squinting his eyes in confusion. Can Dispatch stop wasting his time that he could waste on making a bigger mess of the pleuthora of his scandals? Please.
Dispatch sighs. This one is a bit slow, eh?
"Cus then one half of your gal group has had dating scandals." He explains exasperatedly. "You realize how detrimental that could be to a girl group, right. That could very well end em. "
YG stays silent for a second. "Dat could end em? "
"Hmm." Dispatch replies.
YG let's out a squeal of joy. "In that case, I might as well pay you to oust em! " YG says cheerfully. "I'll be waiting on January first. Work your magic Dispatch!" He squeals in sheer joy & hangs up.
Dispatch let's his limp hand fall on to his lap along with the phone it's holding. Is he a joke to these clowns, is he? He slouches in to the cushion of his seat, his neck bent & his chin poking his chest.
"Get out." He growls without so much as lifting his head.
His team looks around in confusion. Was he talking to em?
"I said get out. Before I count to three. " He growls again. "You are all fired! " He barks angrily.
His team scrambles to their feet & are outta the door & the building in a matter of seconds.
That's it. He quits. He's never spying on idols again. Anybody can screw anybody anytime they want anywhere they want. See if he will care!
"They are dating! For two years!" Dispatch exclaims in hushed tones. Around him, his team makes excited sounds. They've worked hard, to deliver this wonderful news to his hands.
A brief pause follows his excited announcement on SM's side.
"Okay." SM replies, his tone monotonous.
"O-okay?" Dispatch stutters. He looks around at his team in confusion! Had SM heard him right? He just said okay!
"Yup.Okay." SM replies. "Thanks for letting me know. I'll congratulate them."
Congratula-WHAT? Dispatch shakes his head vigorously. A sliver of irritation starts somewhere in his belly and spreads rapidly through his whole body right down to his toes.
Dispatch takes a deep breath to calm himself down.
"You know it's me, right?" Dispatch asks in a low tone, breathing rhythmically to keep his temper at bay. He is DISPATCH, the Hades of Kpop. Imagine thinking he comes bearing happy news!
On the other end of the line SM rolls his eyes. As if any other media outlet would waste their resources to find out who's sticking it in who.
"I'm gonna leak em. " Dispatch announces in a no-nonsense tone. "I'll oust em as the January first couple."
"Okay." SM says evenly, sounding impatient. Wasn't that obvious by now?
Dispatch nearly drops the phone. Geez. Would it kill this man to show a lil bit of shock at least.
He rubs his brow wearily. It's safe to assume there would be no desperate pleas or intense negotiations on SM's part like he had intended. Let him try one last time.
"They will shred her to pieces! " Dispatch states plainly. "That horde of incessantly obsessive psychotic witches they call their fans!" He says. "They will tear her from limb to limb!"
"We can use a bit of promotion right now, with Irene breaking her hip we couldn't promote-
Dispatch hangs up. He knows a lost cause when he sees one.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We got photos!" Dispatch announces to Bang PD over the phone, his excitement a lil tainted by his previous endeavour with SM. "Of your boi Jimin & Seulgi from Red Velvet. "
"They've been dating for two years now!" Dispatch announces excitedly as his team looks at him with anticipation. They are eager to see the fruits of their hard labor.
A brief pause follows on the other side of the phone as Bang PD nim processes the news. Dispatch looks around at his team with a victorious glow in his eyes. This, will not fail.
"We have a lot of exclusive BTS Christmas content planned-" Bang PD nim starts.
"You know what, I was just checking to see if you are doing okay. " Dispatch replies hurrriedly. "Accept my early Christmas greetings. Have a good day! "
Dispatch hangs up the phone.
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"We got photos" Dispatch announces to JYP over the phone. He looks nervous after the two previous failed attempts. "Of Sana & EXO Suho. "
"They've been dating for a year now. " Dispatch announces nervously. His team watches him with grave faces, their celebrations having come to an abrupt halt. This cannot fail. A deal has to be made.
"We'll oust em as the January first couple unless some negotiations are made-" Dispatch continues.
On the other end of the line, JYP inflates like a hot air balloon, his face taking on an angry red. This bastard, how dare he!
"FINE. GO AHEAD OUST EM. YOU OUST EM ALL MY GIRLS AND THE FELLAS THEY'RE SCREWING AND YOU FINALLY OUST ME TOO YOU CONNIVING THIRSTY BLOODSUCKER! " JYP screams angrily in to the phone & hangs up.
Dispatch holds the phone at a distance so as to preserve his eardrums! What a temperamental man! How on earth is he a CEO?
Well, there goes his negotiations. He sighs & starts dialing again.
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"We got photos." Dispatch announces for the fourth time that evening. He feels drained, as if he had run 40 laps. But, he gotta pick himself up. Bucks have to be made, there are mouths to be fed. "Of Jisoo & Cha Eun Woo." He finishes wearily.
"They been dating for a year!" Dispatch announces while rubbing his temples. His team stares at him expectantly. This better work or else somebody will not be receiving a pay check for the next month.
On the other side of the line, YG let's out a sigh of extreme relief. Thank god, it's not Jennie!
"Why you telling me this?" He asks Dispatch. He sounds confused. Does Dispatch think he cares?
"Cus we gonna oust em." Dispatch says matter of factly. A headache is subtley working it's way from the temporal region to the frontal. "They'll be our January first couple! "
YG pauses for a brief second. "Why you telling me this?" He asks again, scrunching his nose & squinting his eyes in confusion. Can Dispatch stop wasting his time that he could waste on making a bigger mess of the pleuthora of his scandals? Please.
Dispatch sighs. This one is a bit slow, eh?
"Cus then one half of your gal group has had dating scandals." He explains exasperatedly. "You realize how detrimental that could be to a girl group, right. That could very well end em. "
YG stays silent for a second. "Dat could end em? "
"Hmm." Dispatch replies.
YG let's out a squeal of joy. "In that case, I might as well pay you to oust em! " YG says cheerfully. "I'll be waiting on January first. Work your magic Dispatch!" He squeals in sheer joy & hangs up.
Dispatch let's his limp hand fall on to his lap along with the phone it's holding. Is he a joke to these clowns, is he? He slouches in to the cushion of his seat, his neck bent & his chin poking his chest.
"Get out." He growls without so much as lifting his head.
His team looks around in confusion. Was he talking to em?
"I said get out. Before I count to three. " He growls again. "You are all fired! " He barks angrily.
His team scrambles to their feet & are outta the door & the building in a matter of seconds.
That's it. He quits. He's never spying on idols again. Anybody can screw anybody anytime they want anywhere they want. See if he will care!
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