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How Aespa went to Coachella

 Hybe: Is there a slot available? I need desperately to sneak an artist in. Coachella: Nope. All filled. Hybe: Are u sure? I guarantee one hour performance from BTS next year. Coachella : Who? Hybe: Ya know the Squid Game dudes trying desperately for a Grammy? Coachella: Deal. I'll kick someone out. ------- Coachella: yo whassup. Guess who just landed a spot in the lineup? SM: NCT? Super M? Exo? Suju? Coachella : Who? No. It's Aespa. SM: *long pause* are back tracks allowed ------ "Guess what I just did? " Hybe PD nim asks JYP swirling his evening vodka on one fine evening at the Gangnam Bar. "Abducted Teddy so Blackpink won't get a comeback? " JYP replies, looking hopeful. Hybe pauses mid swirling. What?! "I'm sending them to Coachella. It'll be a lip syncing disaster and will kill their momentum for good". Hybe says. "They'll be off our groops' way in no time". "What if they actually sing live? " JYP asks,
Recent posts

Vocals vs Dance vs Visuals

This is a fine evening in Gangnam. At one secluded corner of the elite Gangnam Bar, are sat three gentlemen ; Vocals, Visuals & Dance. They are engaged in a heated debate over who matters the most in K-Pop. Vocals slams his fist on the table & thunders. 'Kpop is ME. I AM Kpop. K - Pop is K- Vocals, literally'. He gestures furiously with hands. How could these idiots not get it? 'No group, no solo would exist without me-' 'AM I A JOKE TO YOU?' comes an angry outburst from across the bar. Vocals upon turning, finds Auto Tune fuming in a table farther away. Vocals glares at him. The audacity! A loud burst of laughter brings his attention back to his table. He turns to find Dance & Visuals struggling for air after cracking up. 'Oh honey' Dance starts dizzily. He's still oh so giddy from laughing so heartily. What a joke, Vocals is. 'There's PLENTY of groups & soloists that exist without you just fine'. He takes a big g

How Big hut came to buy SouMu instead of Cube

YG throws open the door to his office room & is startled by a muffled cry from between the door and the wall. When he pulls the door and peers behind it, it's his turn to squeal. What in the- "What the hell are you doing here?" YG squeals at JYP, plastered to the wall of his office, trying to look as flat as possible. "I'm hiding." JYP whispers looking about YG nervously. "In my office?" YG squints his eyes in a valiant effort to comprehend the unfolding scenario. "In the middle of the night?" "It's six thirty in the evening!" JYP forgets his woes for a full second & stares at YG confused. "Anyways Bang PD is out to get me." JYP squeals in distress as he turns the color of the wall behind him, a cockroach white. "Boi that's bad." YG replies. Then in a conspiratorial tone he adds, "I heard he's vicious!" In the following split second a terrifying thought enters YG&

How SM got rid of the most promising NGG candidates

"Congratulations!" SM squeals at the girl seated in front of him in his plush office. "You are officially a member of the NGG as of now!" Koeun stares at the man. Has he lost his marbles? "You told me that a year ago!" She replies deadpanned. SM's grin falteres the tiniest bit. "Yes. And we are happy to have you-" SM gestures his hand at Koeun "-you in your budding young age of 22-" He gestures again. "-in our NGG! " "And guess what, we have decided a concept for you." He replies eagerly. "It's gonna be cute. As in cute that would put Twice to shame. " Koeun sits petrified in her seat. This cannot be happening. "We have hired Cheer Up producer to produce you a debut song." SM continues. "It'll all be cute. Cute song. Cute dress. Cute choreo. Cute expressions. Cute makeup-" "But- but the trend is girl crush nowadays-" Koeun stammers. "Since wh

Dispatch fired all the paparazzi he used to spy on idols

"We have photos!" Dispatch makes the much anticipated announcement to SM over the phone, on one fine December evening. "Of Seulgi & BTS Jimin" "They are dating! For two years!" Dispatch exclaims in hushed tones. Around him, his team makes excited sounds. They've worked hard, to deliver this wonderful news to his hands. A brief pause follows his excited announcement on SM's side. "Okay." SM replies, his tone monotonous. "O-okay?" Dispatch stutters. He looks around at his team in confusion! Had SM heard him right? He just said okay!  "Yup.Okay." SM replies. "Thanks for letting me know. I'll congratulate them." Congratula-WHAT? Dispatch shakes his head vigorously. A sliver of irritation starts somewhere in his belly and spreads rapidly through his whole body right down to his toes. Dispatch takes a deep breath to calm himself down. "You know it's me, right?" Dispatch asks in

YG is the pillar behind Blackpink's succes

YG sips his evening coffee seated in his office room at his plush Gangnam apartment and recalls the events from two days ago. 'What a pickle!' he had thought as he carefully regarded all the ATM cards scattered across his office table and their collective balance. He was terribly low on funds. Courtesy of Burning Sun, Seungri; his chat room, BI & his weed. YG considers the stuff he had to get done, despite the low funds. 1. He had to get those PCAs to BLACKPINK. Cus clout. And to screw BTS. 2. He needed to get that 1 billion for BLACKPINK. Cus clout again. And to screw BTS. Again. 3. He had to pay the rent of his plush Gangnam apartment. Buying the way through to achievements is expensive and considering his limited funds, it had  seemed daunting. But people called him YG for nothing. He had a brain. Though rarely used, he still had one. Right? First things first. He had decided to call PCAs. "Give em awards to BLACKPINK." He had started. &qu