Fanfics by Abs

 Hybe: Is there a slot available? I need desperately to sneak an artist in. Coachella: Nope. All filled. Hybe: Are u sure? I guarantee one hour performance from BTS next year. Coachella : Who? Hybe: Ya know the Squid Game dudes trying desperately for a Grammy? Coachella: Deal. I'll kick someone out. ------- Coachella: yo whassup. Guess who just landed a spot in the lineup? SM: NCT? Super M? Exo? Suju? Coachella : Who? No. It's Aespa. SM: *long pause* are back tracks allowed ------ "Guess what I just did? " Hybe PD nim asks JYP swirling his evening vodka on one fine evening at the Gangnam Bar. "Abducted Teddy so Blackpink won't get a comeback? " JYP replies, looking hopeful. Hybe pauses mid swirling. What?! "I'm sending them to Coachella. It'll be a lip syncing disaster and will kill their momentum for good". Hybe says. "They'll be off our groops' way in no time". "What if they actually sing live? " JYP asks, ...

This is a fine evening in Gangnam. At one secluded corner of the elite Gangnam Bar, are sat three gentlemen ; Vocals, Visuals & Dance. They are engaged in a heated debate over who matters the most in K-Pop. Vocals slams his fist on the table & thunders. 'Kpop is ME. I AM Kpop. K - Pop is K- Vocals, literally'. He gestures furiously with hands. How could these idiots not get it? 'No group, no solo would exist without me-' 'AM I A JOKE TO YOU?' comes an angry outburst from across the bar. Vocals upon turning, finds Auto Tune fuming in a table farther away. Vocals glares at him. The audacity! A loud burst of laughter brings his attention back to his table. He turns to find Dance & Visuals struggling for air after cracking up. 'Oh honey' Dance starts dizzily. He's still oh so giddy from laughing so heartily. What a joke, Vocals is. 'There's PLENTY of groups & soloists that exist without you just fine'. He takes a big g...

YG throws open the door to his office room & is startled by a muffled cry from between the door and the wall. When he pulls the door and peers behind it, it's his turn to squeal. What in the- "What the hell are you doing here?" YG squeals at JYP, plastered to the wall of his office, trying to look as flat as possible. "I'm hiding." JYP whispers looking about YG nervously. "In my office?" YG squints his eyes in a valiant effort to comprehend the unfolding scenario. "In the middle of the night?" "It's six thirty in the evening!" JYP forgets his woes for a full second & stares at YG confused. "Anyways Bang PD is out to get me." JYP squeals in distress as he turns the color of the wall behind him, a cockroach white. "Boi that's bad." YG replies. Then in a conspiratorial tone he adds, "I heard he's vicious!" In the following split second a terrifying thought enters YG...

"Congratulations!" SM squeals at the girl seated in front of him in his plush office. "You are officially a member of the NGG as of now!" Koeun stares at the man. Has he lost his marbles? "You told me that a year ago!" She replies deadpanned. SM's grin falteres the tiniest bit. "Yes. And we are happy to have you-" SM gestures his hand at Koeun "-you in your budding young age of 22-" He gestures again. "-in our NGG! " "And guess what, we have decided a concept for you." He replies eagerly. "It's gonna be cute. As in cute that would put Twice to shame. " Koeun sits petrified in her seat. This cannot be happening. "We have hired Cheer Up producer to produce you a debut song." SM continues. "It'll all be cute. Cute song. Cute dress. Cute choreo. Cute expressions. Cute makeup-" "But- but the trend is girl crush nowadays-" Koeun stammers. "Since wh...

"We have photos!" Dispatch makes the much anticipated announcement to SM over the phone, on one fine December evening. "Of Seulgi & BTS Jimin" "They are dating! For two years!" Dispatch exclaims in hushed tones. Around him, his team makes excited sounds. They've worked hard, to deliver this wonderful news to his hands. A brief pause follows his excited announcement on SM's side. "Okay." SM replies, his tone monotonous. "O-okay?" Dispatch stutters. He looks around at his team in confusion! Had SM heard him right? He just said okay!  "Yup.Okay." SM replies. "Thanks for letting me know. I'll congratulate them." Congratula-WHAT? Dispatch shakes his head vigorously. A sliver of irritation starts somewhere in his belly and spreads rapidly through his whole body right down to his toes. Dispatch takes a deep breath to calm himself down. "You know it's me, right?" Dispatch asks in...

YG sips his evening coffee seated in his office room at his plush Gangnam apartment and recalls the events from two days ago. 'What a pickle!' he had thought as he carefully regarded all the ATM cards scattered across his office table and their collective balance. He was terribly low on funds. Courtesy of Burning Sun, Seungri; his chat room, BI & his weed. YG considers the stuff he had to get done, despite the low funds. 1. He had to get those PCAs to BLACKPINK. Cus clout. And to screw BTS. 2. He needed to get that 1 billion for BLACKPINK. Cus clout again. And to screw BTS. Again. 3. He had to pay the rent of his plush Gangnam apartment. Buying the way through to achievements is expensive and considering his limited funds, it had  seemed daunting. But people called him YG for nothing. He had a brain. Though rarely used, he still had one. Right? First things first. He had decided to call PCAs. "Give em awards to BLACKPINK." He had started. ...

Bang PD nim takes a long drag of his joint and lets the fumes come out of his nose, letting his nasal hair get singed. "I hate YouTube. Ma bois TXT be lookin like clowns" He utters & passes the joint to YG. "There's barely any views on Run Away MV!" He squeals in agony. "There goes ma girls' relevance!" YG takes a drag from the joint. "Queens of YouTube no more" He passes the joint. JYP takes the joint from YG. "Twice had long lost their YouTube relevance." He states. "Or any relevance for that matter" He finishes, giggling like a lovesick teenage girl. Bang PD nim takes the joint from JYP. "All dat money I spent on making dat damn MV." He takes a drag. " How am I ever gonna earn dat money back! Its not like TXT earn anything beside YouTube cash!" He launches in to a wail. "YouTube was the only way my girls could surpass BTS. " YG utters looking distraught. "Now its gon...

"So there's seven of us? " Taemin asks. "Yes" He looks at SM suspiciously. "Are you trynna replicate BTS? " Of course he is. "Am not. " SM replies, deadpanned. Taemin looks at SM thoughtfully. He doesn't trust the man. "It's pathetic to be honest. "Taemin replies. "Nobody can re-create a BTS" "I'm not doing it. "Taemin stands his ground. He's not getting on board the Titanic that is SuperM. "I heard you are in a romantic relationship" SM says nonchalantly. "With Kai. " Taemin goes pale. His swag vanished. "Wha-" He swallows. "We are not dating!" "Really?" SM replies calmly. "Some of the pics looked pretty intimate though" "Like that one with your hand in his crotch-" "Fine. I'll do it. "Taemin snaps. This son of a b*itch. ------------------------------------ "A group?" Kai exclai...

One week before VMAs "So," Bang PD nim starts, one evening at The Gangnam Bar, seated across from YG.  "Your girls, at VMAs? " "Yup. " YG begins. "They'll be performing" He says with a hint of arrogance.  "Congrats" Bang PD nim forces a smile, a jab of jealousy at the pit of his stomach.  BTS would merely be making an appearance. All his pleas for a performance vehemently denied by the VMAs.  And here this loser and his pack of skinny girls getting the opportunity on a silver platter.  "Jennie will steal the show" Bang PD nim says carefully, wheels spinning in his head.  "Totally" YG says proudly, a faint blush mottling his cheeks.  "She'll snatch a lot of deals. "Bang PD nim elaborates thoughtfully. "A record deal, several CF deals. Probably." "She's prolly gonna stay in America a lot longer than the rest. " He says. "And prolly en...

BI takes a long drag of his joint, seated in YG's basement one evening. "I'mma go to Bali." He says matter of factly. "And join a tribe. " "Cooool. " Utters Seungri, taking the joint from BI. "You can write a waka waka song. " "This basement is where I hide my artists? " YG asks from nobody in particular, taking the joint from Seungri. "Damn this place stinks. " "I banged TOP. " Han Seo Hee utters taking a drag from the joint YG passed. "He got a micro dick. " "Ikon was me. " BI says taking another drag. "I was Ikon. There's no Ikon without me". "I can't belib that fool JJY. " Seungri says taking the joint from BI. "He actually admitted to the crimes he actually committed! " Seungri snorts. "Who does dat? " "Bish please. " YG utters. "I won't leave my company after my death. " He takes the joint from Seun...

SM drinks his Sunday evening martini in peace. What an eventful week this has been? From one scandal to the next and all ending with the man stepping down. He hasn't seen YG all week. Mind you, he doesn't intend to either. He's prolly locked himself up with an endless supply of weed from Han Seo Hee & smoking in self pity. He hadn't seen JYP either. All week. And he doesn't intend to either. He's prolly locked himself in his new office & writing another shit song for Twice. That left him all on his own in the Gangnam Bar drinking his martini alone in his much deserved peace. "Oh golly" Dispatch plops in to the seat opposite SM with a heavy thud. "Does it feel great to be out & about at last!" He sighs happily. He had been getting tired watching over his shoulder the past week in fear of YG pulling off something drastic. But so far it has been quiet. Quiet before the storm. Nonsense. Dispatch pushes the thought asid...

Bang PD nim clinks his beer glass with SM. "You were right!" Utters Bang PD, lifting his glass in SM's direction. SM chugs his beer. Of course he was. "The rat put the bois out the second he got wind of my bois." Bang PD nim exclaims, disbelief evident in his voice. "What are they called? Lunch Box?" SM sneers. A rare occurence. He rarely shows his emotions. But he had done his job so well. It called for a little emotions on the face. SM recalls an encounter, sometime back, in that very same spot in The Gangnam Bar in an evening like this. "Are you sure it's a good idea to debut Treasure Box bois with T-REX? " YG had been sceptical. SM had nodded with absolute confidence. "Positive." He had assured. "Fangirls love competing with other fandoms for their oppars. It's gonna be good buzz for Treasure Box. " It wasn't. And he had known it with perfect clarity, when he had said it. TXT was too big. Tr...

Ouch.  SM's hand shoots to the back of  his head. Something sharp and small had hit him. And it hurt!  Rubbing the back of his head, SM turns behind to see what blasted thing had hit him. And stops abruptly as he comes face to face with a hyperventilating YG whose facial features are distorted in red hot anger. A bowl of nuts lies next to him on the counter top of the Gangnam Bar and a curious bartender peeks over the counter curiously at YG & SM! Nobody nobody touches his nuts!  "I hate you! " YG states heatedly at SM, folding another nut in his hand. His chest heaves up and down fast. For a split second SM feels worried. If YG somehow goes in to cardiac arrest right here right now, he'd have to be a witness. And all the trouble that comes with it.... paperwork... and stuff.... ugh. SM shivers.  "I hate you" YG states again. "You and those good for nothing pretty faced lil bastards that you call EXO!" He spits angrily, thrusting a mena...

SM hands JYP the martini one evening at the Gangnam Bar. He had paid for it, not because he was feeling generous or warm or fuzzy inside, but cus the lil bugger had been looking down since the MMAs where Twice hadn't managed to score yet another SOTY Daesang that they didn't deserve and SM had had enough of parading a long faced JYP around the Bar. He wanted the bugger to go back to his useless boring self. He was more tolerable that way! JYP takes the martini with both hands, with such fervor that one would show if they were holding a priceless relic. His eyes shimmer and his face glows. 'Oppa is being nice.' He giggles internally like a middle school girl. SM takes his own martini and starts towards a table located in one secluded corner of the bar with JYP in tow. They're getting wasted on expensive drinks tonight. Two steps down the path, SM comes to a sudden halt causing JYP to bump in to SM. JYP takes his time peeling himself off of SM who's now star...

The seven boys of BTS stare at the vision before them. They feel lost. Earlier in the day Bang PD nim had called em to his newly decorated old office. Then he had broke the important news to em. He was engaged! And to a woman too! He, the Bang PD nim, the man who had been too deeply burried in his work to create a BTS since, well, since his testicles descended to the scrotum, the man who is yet to discover the existence of the opposite sex, is engaged to a member of that very sex! BTS had rejoiced. Naturally. Finally, the Bang PD nim was about to discover what it's like to be with a woman. Perhaps he'd like it so much and then he'd appreciate the existence of the opposite sex and he'd welcome the members of female kind as trainees to his company and then they'd get to hang out with and date and bang girls in-house away from prying eyes of Armys....... They were ready meet the ahjumma. Whoever she was, they were sure PD nim had chosen well. She would be their...

SM takes out the lipstick from her latest Gucci handbag, one evening at the plush rest room of the Gangnam Bar. "Oh. My. Gaash. Is dat-" Exclaims YG who's been caking make up on her own face for the past half an hour. "-THE Matte lip laquer from Etude House? " She finishes, her mouth perfectly oval & her voice posh. "Ooooo" "Yup. "SM replies, equally posh "Seulgi's shade." Says SM matter of factly & begins applying the bright red lip lacquer on her plump - courtesy of yesterday's HA fillers from the Gangnam Beauty Clinic- lips. YG watches as the stick runs along the pouty lips of SM. The red color contouring the soft flesh perfectly, making em look sensual. It's just so alluring to watch..... What- "Gurrl, you look fab! " YG overcomes her dilemma & squeals in excitement -faked of course cus her female heart is brimming with jealousy. How dare she look so glamorous? "Oh. Thanks boo....

JYP opens one eye slowly and stares down what he believes to be the shaft of his long crooked nose. He opens his other eye and realizes the soft surface he's lying on face down & smacked on the ground like a giant eagle who miscalculated the distance to the ground from the sky, is the thick carpet in his new office. His neck & the cartilage in his nose bent in awkward angles scream in pain. He rotates his eyeballs to the maximum limits in their sockets & tries to get a glimpse of his surroundings. His head is still foggy & his vision blurred but he catches the glimpse of his blasted tab... on which he was reading the horrid news ... seconds before he came crashing on to the blasted floor. "Oppa, are you okayyy?" Comes the sweet voice of a cutely worried Tzuyu beautifully perched next to her fallen boss. Dang it. She's here? "Omo, should we call the police?-" "Why would we call the police? He's not dead……Is he?-" ...

"Is your company still there? " JYP asks Cube PD nim, a smug look on his face. SM, seated next to Cube PD nim for the past hour trynna brainstorm ways to help save the sinking Titanic that is Cube, raises an eyebrow at JYP. Geez, this insensitive bastard! Cube PD nim looks up from his evening Gangnam Bar cocktail, shocked. Is he for real? "It must suck to lose your one source of income. " JYP continues. "She was the breadwinner. " "Look, if within the week you decide to sell the company, you have my number, right" States JYP with a wink at the Cube PD nim who's growing redder in the face by the second. "This is kinda an unfortunate time for a lot of companies. " SM states, throwing a worried glance at the Cube PD. "Lot of companies screwing up. " "I DID NOT SCREW UP. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL EVERYBODY" Comes through a loud voice from across the corner. SM, JYP & Cube PD nim turn around. ...